


Sannin Shenanigans at the Sex Shop

by Kalira



Category: Naruto
Genre: Clueless Jiraiya, Community: trope_bingo, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Orochimaru and Tsunade are those friends with zero boundaries, Sex Shop, Sex Toys, Sexual Fantasy, Teasing, Trope Bingo Round 14, talk about sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:00:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23976382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalira/pseuds/Kalira
Summary: Sidestepping into a sex shop may seem to be a slightly strange method of interrupting oversharing sex stories, but someone was in a hurry. Besides, it's always useful to combine errands. . .(aka, the Sannin visit a sex shop, and shenanigans ensue)
Relationships: Hatake Sakumo/Orochimaru, Jiraiya & Orochimaru & Tsunade (Naruto)
Comments: 21
Kudos: 255
Collections: Trope Bingo Round 14, Trope Bingo: Round Fourteen





	Sannin Shenanigans at the Sex Shop

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 'sex toys' space on my [Trope Bingo board](https://kalira.dreamwidth.org/24550.html)!

“-she had a pair like you wouldn’t _believe_ , and,” Jiraiya shoved against Orochimaru firmly as he gave an illustrative gesture, and Orochimaru grit his teeth on a hiss as his teammate laughed loudly, “you know _exactly_ how it went, don’t you, Orochi?”

Orochimaru very much wished he did not know in far too much detail precisely what he suspected Jiraiya would be telling him next. Orochimaru also suspected he knew how it had _really_ gone, because he had known Jiraiya for too long.

Tsunade _groaned_ , leaning against Orochimaru’s other side for a moment. Orochimaru glanced at her and she cast a look up, glaring and pouting at once. Jiraiya continued to tell an improbable story of blowing his latest conquest’s mind and expectations and ruining her for all other lovers after him.

Orochimaru rolled his eyes. Tsunade, all soft curves where she had pressed up against Orochimaru’s side, made another low sound of frustration and he could feel her muscles beginning to tense. At least, he thought, when Tsunade lost it and _flattened_ Jiraiya again, he would - probably - be quiet for a while.

Probably. Jiraiya was incredibly irrepressible.

“Of course she was _begging_ for me to-”

“Oh look!” Tsunade said suddenly, cutting through Jiraiya’s recitation of details that were both unlikely and inappropriate for the street, at least at his usual volume. “Oro! Come on!”

Orochimaru let her drag him along before he had any idea where she was taking him or what she had seen - it made life simpler. And less painful, because Tsunade did not always realise when someone hesitated after she set out to drag them anywhere.

_Takara’s Treasures and Toys_

Ah. Orochimaru let himself be hauled through the door after Tsunade, wishing he was back home - Sakumo had returned yesterday, he could be at home with his lover rather than here listening to one teammate’s improbable, aggravating stories and waiting for the other to lose her temper - aware of Jiraiya trailing after them, confused.

“Hime? Orochi? Hey!” Jiraiya protested, right at Orochimaru’s heels. “If you have shopping to do- _Oh fuck._ Oh.”

Orochimaru smothered a laugh as he glanced around. Jiraiya was stalled out by a display of lingerie near the door, but Orochimaru himself followed Tsunade even when her grip on his arm loosened. He glanced idly over shelves of faintly kinky games - dice, cards, full board games, to his amusement - as they passed, but paused on the aisle itself, letting Tsunade continue without him.

Orochimaru inspected hanging rows of plugs, imagining being stretched. He ran his fingers over a thick steel one, feeling the weight, and imagined feeling it inside, pulling at him and pressing at his prostate as he moved.

The imagining disappeared to be replaced by the remembered feeling of Sakumo’s cock inside him, thick and hard, knot pressing over his prostate and tugging inside him. He moved away, not particularly charmed by what the toys offered.

He lingered again beside a display of replica cocks - ranging from various realistic models, to the improbable or generally dangerous for penetration. Orochimaru’s lips quirked with amusement as he glanced over one with a fake, slender knot. Another nearby boasted the ability to be inflated once penetration had been achieved.

Orochimaru shook his head slightly - picturing a cold, unliving form inside rather than the heat of his wolf; the bizarre thought of a knot that didn’t answer to another’s pleasure but to one’s own command - and moved away without hesitation as Tsunade called his name. Not, of course, that Orochimaru hadn’t essentially played his mate and drawn him to orgasm, therefore bringing Sakumo’s knot to full size inside himself, in the past. . .

He laughed softly and stepped out to turn onto the next aisle. It was not at all the same kind of thing as the toy offered, certainly.

Jiraiya was just past the end of the aisle, against the wall opposite, and Orochimaru moved past him, following Tsunade’s voice. There were rows and rows of books - some with discreet covers, most with ones that made it quite clear what they contained, a few with incredibly graphic designs.

Jiraiya trailed his fingers over the edge of a shelf and Orochimaru paused, looking back. He wasn’t leering at the graphic covers, nor at the descriptions. “One day. . .” Jiraiya said, rather quiet, for him. “One day _my_ work’ll be here.”

A fond smile curved Orochimaru’s lips. Jiraiya might indeed be often . . . insufferable, but he was still their friend. Even at his worst there were usually reminders of it.

Orochimaru bypassed ranks of toys for teasing - toys that would offer mild flashes of pleasure and pain, sensation play in the forms of soft or spiky touches. Wheels with pins, gloves with spikes - and Orochimaru saw at least three that were designed to punch deep enough to kill, either as they were or with a flare of chakra to trigger an extension; convenient for ninja mixing shopping for work with shopping for pleasure, he thought wryly - velvet and leather.

“Do you think Dan would like something like this?” Tsunade asked as Orochimaru approached, and he paused. His brows rose as he looked at the toys before her. Tsunade held up a less-than-comfortable-looking contraption of metal bars and a thick ‘collar’ that was probably designed to lock around the base of an erect cock.

“. . .I have no idea, Tsunade.” Orochimaru told her dryly. “Perhaps you should ask him first. Or at _least_ start with something,” he reached past her and tapped a less complicated, flexible ring with one fingertip, “a little less intimidating?” He arched an eyebrow.

Tsunade laughed, putting back the metal toy and examining a row of flexible rings of different materials - and colours. She hummed thoughtfully, brows drawing together.

Orochimaru arched an eyebrow. “Want to solve a problem, or just . . . have an interest?” he asked dryly.

“There are absolutely _no_ problems, I assure you.” Tsunade countered, eyes narrowing.

Orochimaru laughed, inclining his head. He glanced at the cock rings, then back at Tsunade, and she pouted. Then she started poking through the softer ones still designed to restrain orgasm, and Orochimaru hummed, amused, as he turned away. _Those_ held no interest either - and with Sakumo. . .

Well, Orochimaru had no interest in _damaging_ his mate, either. Orochimaru suspected that his knot made any restraints of the kind unwise at best.

“Hime! What are you-” Jiraiya broke off with a strangled, thick, yelping noise Orochimaru had never heard him make before. He looked back dubiously. “What the _fuck_!”

“Most of the things in this shop are indeed for that purpose.” Tsunade said sunnily, and Orochimaru nearly choked on a laugh.

Jiraiya sputtered, and Orochimaru tilted his head, eyeing his friend. “Why would you even- Is that . . . some kind of jewellery?” Jiraiya squinted.

Tsunade glanced at Orochimaru, her eyes wide. Orochimaru blinked. They both looked at Jiraiya.

“They’re to delay or . . . _prevent_ orgasm.” Orochimaru said, then smirked. “In case of,” he glanced down Jiraiya’s body then back up, “ _problems_ , or for extended pleasure.”

“Some of them are rather decorative.” Tsunade mused. “That isn’t their main purpose, though.” She smiled suddenly, a little sharp, and Orochimaru quashed his own anticipatory smile as he waited for Tsunade to voice whatever had flitted through her mind. Her expression softened into something that oozed sympathy. “Perhaps you might find one helpful?” she suggested, tone ringing patently false in all its sweetness.

Orochimaru smothered a snicker as Jiraiya _squawked_ a protest.

Tsunade soothed him with a flicker of vicious amusement on her face that suggested she might very well be about to make it worse instead, and Orochimaru moved quickly down the aisle away from them. He stepped out of sight around the endcap before Tsunade _or_ Jiraiya could look at him for more . . . ‘help’. Of any kind.

He paused for a moment, tilting his head as he took in the ranks of delicate chains, but didn’t remain to examine the selection of clamps they were attached to, with their varyingly vicious little ‘teeth’. A glance down the aisle, and then he bypassed it entirely.

He could still hear Jiraiya - his slightly-too-loud voice now moved back to questions - and Tsunade - answering with varying levels of amusement or frustration - as he turned onto the next. It wasn’t exactly tempting to return to, but Orochimaru figured Tsunade’s amusement had a limit, and he had best not leave his teammates alone for too long. _Here_ , however, he had found something that might actually tempt him.

Or not _him_. . . But definitely a temptation. Orochimaru smiled slightly, running his fingers over a length of soft silk rope in midnight blue.

He browsed through large spools that held different widths and strengths and colours, a few different materials, then stilled. Oh. _Oh yes._

Orochimaru fingered a rich purple rope that was, if not exactly, then a very close match to his markings. Pushing his sleeve back, he let it fall across his forearm. He hummed.

“May I help you?”

Orochimaru turned to the attendant approaching him. “Yes.” He lifted the end of the rope he had been examining with a smile, doing a few quick calculations before he provided a length. The attendant bowed and measured it out for him, then cut it and wrapped it into a loose coil, tying it off.

He accepted it and waved off any further assistance. He smothered amusement as Tsunade grew particularly loud and the attendant’s stride hitched, and headed back towards his friends. He glanced down towards them from the end of the aisle, then moved past, this time with a purpose.

He browsed quickly past the narrower toys, narrowly resisted rolling his eyes at some of the claims made by packaging on others, and stopped when he reached the ones that would vibrate with a careful application of chakra.

Easy enough for Tsunade, more so than most ninja, even, but they did eventually wear out, even so. Orochimaru inspected the options before him and selected one, only hurried on in his task a little by the sudden shift in Tsunade’s tone. It suggested that soon Jiraiya would be suffering further flying lessons at her hand, if they weren’t interrupted.

“I’m _just saying_ -”

“Tsuna.” Orochimaru interrupted Jiraiya and passed the roughly egg-shaped vibrator to her when she looked around.

“What?” Tsunade looked at it. “Oh.”

“You’ve been _complaining_ yours is dead, just replace it.” Orochimaru said dryly.

“I. . .” Tsunade rubbed her thumb over the packaging. “All right, yes, you’re probably right.” She sighed.

“What the fuck is that even _for_?” Jiraiya asked, head cocked.

Tsunade’s faintly rueful expression shifted back to irritation immediately. “Orgasms. _Mine._ ” she snapped. Orochimaru stifled a snicker as Jiraiya startled. “Not,” she continued, “that it is exactly a _surprise_ for you to know nothing about a woman’s orgasms or what might produce them.”

“Hey!” Jiraiya scowled. “I have _plenty_ of knowledge!” He grinned and wriggled his fingers, and Orochimaru felt the impulse to cringe back. “ _Specialised_ knowledge.”

“It vibrates.” Tsunade said flatly. Jiraiya’s expression was both amusing and faintly saddening. “Which can have a _wide_ variety of applications,” she smirked faintly, “or just go with the simplest and apply it directly to the clitoris.”

“Impatient.” Orochimaru said mildly.

“I like what I like.” Tsunade said, unbothered.

“What?” Jiraiya said, and they both looked at him again. “You’re making things up.”

Orochimaru _wished_ he could be surprised. Tsunade turned a little and he held up a hand. “No.” he said firmly before she could say anything else. “I will _not_. I don’t even-”

“See?” Jiraiya huffed. “Orochi knows better too.”

“Oro doesn’t _apply_ his knowledge personally,” Tsunade snickered and Orochimaru laughed despite himself, “but he _has_ it. Fuck, no wonder you leave dissatisfaction and disappointment behind you with whatever women you get into bed.”

“But is it _surprise_?” Orochimaru posited dryly. “After all,” he cast a disdainful look at Jiraiya, “one’s expectations. . .”

“With all he _talks_ one would hope he’d be better,” Tsunade said, then snorted, “not that _I_ would hope so.”

“You do know him rather better.” Orochimaru allowed, though he couldn’t quite restrain the twist of his mouth as he inadvertently _imagined_ things he would rather not.

“Fuck you!” Jiraiya snapped, glaring.

. . .exactly that, actually. Orochimaru shuddered delicately. “No thank you.” he said, flicking a lock of his hair back over his shoulder.

“Not on your life.” Tsunade added immediately.

“And what’s _that_ for?” Jiraiya asked suddenly instead, jabbing at the coil of rope looped over Orochimaru’s arm as he lowered it again. Jiraiya smirked and raised his eyebrows. “Couldn’t find a _real_ collar and lead for your wolf?”

Orochimaru stiffened with a flare of rage, then sidestepped Tsunade as he snapped out a fist. Jiraiya yelped as he stumbled back, unprepared for the blow to the ribs. Orochimaru’s knuckles ached a little from the impact.

“The rope is for _me_ , you _imbecile_ ,” Orochimaru said sharply, then bared his teeth, “and I would _never_ put a collar on _my wolf_.” He paused, drawing a deep breath. A small hand rested on his forearm.

“All right, Oro?” Tsunade asked softly.

“ _Fine._ ” he snapped, though he wasn’t angry at _her_. Tsunade tilted her head and didn’t snap back. They were both all too used to the effect speaking with Jiraiya in this mood could have, for either of them. “I am leaving.”

“I think that’s wise.” Tsunade cocked her head, toying with the cock ring she’d chosen. “I think we’re done here anyway. Unless Jiraiya has learned enough that he wishes to purchase something.” she added dryly.

Orochimaru turned on his heel, ignoring that prospect, and barely bothered to delay long enough to take his leave from his teammates properly after he had made his purchase. Tsunade squeezed his arm and then headed off herself, and Orochimaru continued on his way, ignoring Jiraiya.

He was halfway towards home before he managed to begin shaking off the tension of irritation. Usually he handled Jiraiya’s . . . being _Jiraiya_ better, but he had struck a particularly sensitive angle today. As he was rather skilled at doing, but Orochimaru could usually ignore it.

A _collar_ \- Orochimaru had heard too much of his mate’s views on them, knew too much about the wild Hatake who had even when settling to the banner of a single home, to their village, refused to be tamed. . . Knew too much about his mate’s clan and their past, about what had been used against them and how.

Orochimaru drew a deep breath and calmed himself again. He rubbed the silk rope between his fingers, looking at the contrast against his skin. A faint smile tugged at his lips. Sakumo would . . . _appreciate_ it, he was sure.

A shiver ran up his spine as he contemplated how his mate might like to put it to use. He could wind it around _himself_ and call his mate to him once it was secure, arms high and body arched as though to pull against it, the rope striking against his skin. He pictured Sakumo’s reaction as he answered Orochimaru’s call for him - pausing as he took in the sight of Orochimaru, eyes widening, muscles tensing, more than likely voicing a low rumble of a growl. . . Orochimaru’s nerves thrilled with the memory of the sound, and the heated look that came to his mate’s face when he _teased_. Invited.

It would be pleasing as a surprise, no doubt, but Orochimaru’s lips curved as he considered the option of offering the rope to his mate as soon as he returned home. The anticipation that would come after. The _planning_ Sakumo would no doubt be doing. Not that Sakumo needed the time to _plan_ for his impulses guiding their play to be . . . more than satisfactory.

Orochimaru shivered again, nerves tingling. Memories and imaginings blended a little as he contemplated what his mate might like to do with him, how he would use the . . . gift. Sakumo tended towards the simple - Orochimaru’s wrists bound, or his arms bound behind him, perhaps to his body? Sakumo manoeuvring his body and keeping him pressed down beneath his mate, arms restrained?

Sakumo would also keenly admire the ropes on his skin, and he was nothing if not patient and devoted when they were sharing pleasure. Perhaps, instead, Orochimaru laid out on their futon, the rope woven to bind him but also to tease him? To frame his body?

Orochimaru had made sure to allow enough length in the rope that whatever his mate wished, he would have enough to . . . play with. He licked his lips, feeling the faintly fizzy rush of anticipation flirting with arousal. His gaze flicked up as he reached the gate of the Hatake compound, and he smiled, slipping through it and moving towards the door with quickening steps.


End file.
